At last...

Today...at long last...I finally got to take my baby to Roan Mountain. The summit of Round Bald, to be exact. Holy ground for me...the place where I feel closest to God on this earth.

Ever since I set foot on this place last year, my one desire has been to bring Alan to share this incredible place, and it seems as though we've been thwarted at every turn, ever since he got home. This morning, we finally got the chance to go.

We left early in the morning, complete with full travel mugs and a thermos full of fresh brewed coffee. The air was chill and there was a stiff breeze, but there was not a cloud in the sky, and we bundled up well before heading out.

Although there were quite a few cars in the parking lot, the place was fairly deserted, and we saw no other hikers on our way to the summit. Once up there, though, we did notice a couple who were striking their tent not far from my Rock Circle, and although we had to share the space briefly, they soon left us to our peace. And peace it was....there is nothing like standing at the summit of the world to appreciate the gift our creator has given us.

After a long while, spent sharing with each other, and just being in awe of the place, we headed down through the woods, exploring as we went. There are several places where we ventured off the beaten path, and found wonderful places to just simply be. One of those places was a grove of old oaks, still stripped of greenery from the winter, one of which had a low branch that grew out horizontally from the ground within an easy climb. We promptly made use of this natural bench, and sat for another long while, enjoying the remnants of our coffee and absorbing the total quiet and the magnificent view, safe in our cocoon of solitude, knowing that we would not be disturbed. It was bliss.

All in all, we had an absolutely perfect morning, one which I'm sure will often be repeated in the coming years...which suits me to a T. I can't think of a more perfect place to spend time recapturing my sanity from the hectic weeks I spend at the office....and more importantly, reconnecting with my other half.

Old Friends, New Friends...Dear Friends

This past weekend was, of course, Easter weekend. It's always this time of year...Spring Break... that I get to head to Kinston, NC to visit my very dear friends, Bonnie and Scott. I've mentioned them quite a few times in this blog, already. But this visit was special for different reasons. First, this year, since Alan is home now, they decided to come see US instead of the other way around. Second, this was their first trip to the Ridge, so it gave us a great opportunity to show it off. And third, of course, was the fact that after so many years...they'd finally get the chance to meet my husband.

All went incredibly well...the weather was perfect, and stayed stunningly beautiful all weekend. They arrived on Friday afternoon, just in time to savor one of my Mother-In-Law's wonderfully tasty homemade soups. Saturday was spent cruising around town, shopping at the flea market and eating a positively gluttonous meal at my favorite local restaurant...a place called Fatz (for good reason, I might add...yumm!). Sunday morning, Alan and I went and ate breakfast with our neighbors at the church while Scott and Bonnie slept in, and then we all headed for the Blue Hole. Since Alan and I had just been there recently, I knew it would be in good shape for a visit...the same can still not be said for places like Roan Mtn. (still under snow) or Backbone Rock, which really needs to be driven to after the leaves come out so the cool, foresty drive there can be enjoyed to the fullest. Most of the trees up here are hardwoods, and still devoid of their leaves, although to be fair many of them are now finally starting to bud and bloom, thank goodness. (I'm so everlastingly sick of everything looking dead...bring on Spring, already!) Regardless...the Blue Hole is very close to home, and never fails to impress, regardless of the season, and this time was no exception. They loved it, and so did we...again. And the best part of it...? Since we weren't alone this time, we had someone to take pics...finally! So now, at long last, we have a few of us...together.

One Month In...

It has now been a little over a month since Alan came home. I would have posted sooner, but I have been lost in the miracle of simply existing in the same world as my other half. I can not describe the simple joy of getting out of the shower in the morning and hearing the coffee grinder, knowing who's operating it...or whose idea it was to get one in the first place. Or the love that grips my heart every time I open my lunch bag to reveal a lovingly crafted sandwich....or the random texts that I now have the honor and privilege of receiving...something the rest of the world takes for granted, I'm sure....but we never will.

All has not been letter-perfect....this is the real world we're talking about, after all. We knew there would be minor adjustments here and there...we expected them. And there have been. But they have been so minor, compared to the vastness of what we've conquored, they barely even register. Here one minute... gone the next. As they should be.

Last weekend, it finally appeared as though we'd get to start adventuring a bit. It's either been snowing, raining, or bitterly cold ever since he came home. A couple of weeks ago, an attempt to go to Roan Mtn. had to be aborted due to the two feet of snow still at the top, which obliterated all trails. We were not about to plow through that, so we took a pic in the parking lot and abandoned the attempt for a warmer, less snow-covered day. A break in the clouds (and the temps) last weekend sent us on a drive, where we ended up at the Blue Hole...one of my favorite spots up here that I've mentioned before. After climbing down to the bottom, we must have sat on the boulders and just soaked it all in for over an hour. We were alone, thank goodness...nothing to break the solitude. And he was amazed, just as I knew he would be when I first found this incredible spot where time just seems to stand still. The utter peace that surrounds you here is a balm to the weary soul, and its effect on him was fairly evident in the pic I snapped while watching him soak it up. Being able to experience it all over again through his eyes brought tears to mine, and it was such a rare and special time for both of us, I'll never forget it.

Pure magic...in its purest form.

Day Zero....or Day One, depending on how you look at it.

Today is finally here...the culmination of months and years of waiting. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm sitting in a hotel room...blogging. No, it's not because I became obsessed (who, me?) and couldn't turn the computer off. Quite the opposite, in fact. After tossing and turning for the past six hours, I have finally given up sleeping as a bad job. I needed to get up in an hour, anyway.... might as well spend it productively, aye?

In about two hours, I'll be leaving here to start the final leg of my old life. My New Life will be waiting to be picked up, you see, and we'll be heading home. To Tennessee.

There are no words that I can type to adequately describe my joy. We have been through so much over the course of our lives, he and I, especially in the past ten years. But the struggle has helped us grow stronger.... individually, and as a couple. There have been incredible life lessons learned in that time....hard won, and yet, if I had the option, I could choose no other path than the one I've been on. It's been worth every second of the pain we've gone through to get to this point.

The hard times are not over, of this I'm sure. But the bad times....oh, yes. After what we've been through, the rest should be a walk in the park. It is said that our struggles help us grow strong. If that is so, then we should never have cause to doubt that we are strong enough to weather any storm that might come our way in the future.

To all our loving, supportive friends and family, without whom we could never have made it to this point....we love and appreciate each of you, and we thank you all, from the bottom of our hearts.

And to the Love of my Life...welcome to a Brave New World.

Day 7....Crossroads

It's hard to believe that I'm sitting here, only one week away from one of the most monumental events of my life. So often, we don't see those until they've come and gone, and then we can look back and recognize them for what they were...a crossroad. I know that once I get in my truck next Thursday and head south, my life will never be the same. But I also know that that change was 5 1/2 years...maybe longer...in the making.

That got me thinking about how this turning point in my life measured up against others I've faced in the past:

1974: My first huge life-altering event....the death of my mother.

1984: The birth of my oldest daughter, Jes.

1986: The birth of my son, Ian.

1987: The death of my brother, Randy.

2003: The death of my husband, Bill to a heart attack. The blackest point in my life.

2007: Death of my Father.

2008: The birth of my granddaughter, Harmony.

There have, of course, been other, smaller events that have occurred over the years...but none of them have truly altered the course of my life like these. Even my first two marriages, I'm sad to say, didn't really substantially change my life. Interesting to note that they pretty much all revolve around births and deaths.

This is different. This is foundational. This is not just a life-altering event, it's a state-altering event.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that a part of me is terrified, but it's the part of me that is afraid of change, of growth, of pushing the envelope of accepted standard practices.

There's a much larger part of me that is so thrilled, words fail. Thrilled to the point that I have immersed myself in anything...anything I could these past few months that I thought would keep my mind from dwelling on it too much, for therein lies madness.

I love this man so much. He is the breath in my body...my bones....my blood. He is my world....because I am his. We share the dream...the vision of our future. And we are committed to it in an unshakable, foundational way. We are like bedrock, the bones of the earth. And when all else has turned to dust around us, yet will we stand. Because we have paid our dues...we have earned the right. We have gone through hell these past few years, and emerged battle-scarred, but triumphant on the other side. Regardless of where the road takes us, it will take us there, together.

I could not ask for more.

Day 14...

Two weeks. Two short weeks left. And I've still got a million things to do before D-day!

I don't know how I'm ever going to get it all done, especially with all the snow and bad weather that we've been having. Currently, there's about ten inches on the ground, with four more days expected starting this weekend. I'm hoping and praying that it all blows out in the next two weeks, because otherwise, we're gonna have an adventure getting across the mountains, and I'm still gunshy from last year. Which, I might add, occurred on the first weekend of March last year. I know, because it made Red Ink status on last year's agenda.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I'm working hard trying to get everything moved into the loft, still. I'd have already been done a week ago (or more) if the weather had cooperated. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish shlepping everything upstairs by Sunday, when I will then burrow in and begin making organization out of chaos....which currently reigns supreme.

My job is great. Awesome, in fact. And I really love the people that I work with, which makes it even better. I really believe God answered my prayers for that, and I'm hoping to be there a very long time to come.

Please pray that the weather will cooperate for the next three weeks so I can get my Valentine home safely and on time!

Day 24....No more visits.

This past weekend, I went south to spend the weekend with my hubby for the final time. It was kinda surreal to be spending the day with him, looking around after all these years, thinking I'd never be sharing that kind of time with him again in that setting. I wasn't sad in the least, though...neither of us were. Just very, very glad that we're closing this chapter of our lives.

I'd have stayed longer with him on Sunday, but I left a bit early due to bad road conditions to the north. I wanted to try to get back over the mountains before dark, or as close as possible to it. I didn't make it, but I did make it home safely.

It's been a long road I've traveled...not just this weekend, but in the past 7 years. So worth every one of the 140,000 miles I've put on that truck, most of which I've spent heading down the road to see him. When I lost my Bill, I never thought I'd be able to find happiness like that again. I was right...what I had with Bill was unique. What I have with Alan is unique, too...but so much more than I ever could have dreamed, all those years ago.

Thank you, Lord, for granting us the strength to get through these past few years. And Lord, please grant us the patience to last 23 more days.