Day 76...What a Relief!!

I have heard from my baby, and everything's fine!!! I am so relieved! I know she doesn't mean to scare me, she's just doing her thing. But her thing is giving me gray hairs (well, more of 'em, anyway) and she doesn't even realize it! I knew I shouldn't be worried, and Tex would be screaming his head off laughing at me if he knew, but I can't help it...it's the mom in me. So she's just going to have to get used to it, I guess.

Anyway, all is as well as it can be right now for her, other than the fact that she's having a bit of trouble adjusting back to BBT life (before basic training), and she's got a really stiff class load this year, especially the second half. Lots of honors classes, so she probably won't be able to get a job and keep her grades up, too. And, oh, yeah....she dyed her hair black. I'm posting pics in case anybody's interested in seeing them. Actually, I think it looks pretty good. Everybody needs a change every once in a while, so why not?

Day 79...Worried Sick, pt. 2...and also, On Top of the World, Ma!

How's that for going to two extremes??? This entry's got the potential to be awesome at the same time it could be really bad. Let's start with the bad stuff first...

I haven't heard from my youngest since the night she got home. No phone call, no email, no nothing. Now yes, she IS a teenager, but she is also a very responsible one, and it is so not like her to not be in touch. I know she's really busy right now trying to get back in school and trying to get in the swing of all things Army Reserve, so maybe I'm just angsting over nothing. But then again...knowing her situation, maybe I'm not. I wish I knew. Regardless, I'm not going to say anything to Tex yet...just in case I'm being totally stupid. I know as soon as I post this, my phone's probably gonna ring.

And while I'm on the bad stuff, my oldest is still hanging out there in limbo, so please keep your prayers up for them...mainly for my Kota. He doesn't understand anything that is happening in his world right now, and I'm afraid that it's not going to get any easier for him anytime soon.

Now for the good stuff....and this, although it is really laced with a lot...a LOT...of potential problems, is really, REALLY good. Problem is, I can't say what it is, because I promised I wouldn't....yet. All I can say is that if I don't tell by February of next year (and I don't explode from having to hold it all in), you'll know by then. And no, as much as I'd like to say it has to do with Tex, it doesn't. Actually, it involves my son, so as long as you're praying, please keep him and his girlfriend in your prayers, too, and I'll update this bit as soon as I get the official go-ahead.

Whew! I did pretty good, didn't I...?

Day 84....Worried Sick

I'm heartsick....just....heartsick. And there's nothing I can do about it, because it's not my problem. It's my oldest's, and her significant other's. They are making the biggest mess out of their lives, and I have to stand by and watch. What kills me is not them so much.... they are, after all, adults and they are perfectly capable of making their own decisions regarding their relationship and their respective careers. What is absolutely killing me is the blatant disregard that is being shown for the feelings of others in the family on both sides, most especially for the baby.

If there was such a desperate need to return to the mountains that it couldn't be worked out in the right way, why not share that with the ones who cared so much and who tried so hard to help? And even then, does that need demand such a rush that proper notifications couldn't be made, and proper notices worked? And if it did....what in the hell could possibly be that important? Even a death in the family would warrant a phone call of explanation...one wouldn't slink out of town without wanting others to know the reason. And one certainly wouldn't decide, come hell or high water--and regardless of the feelings of others--to blatantly leave, ripping up their family in the process, and without so much as a word of explanation to others when they have gone out of their way to do all they could to show they cared.

Maybe I'm just too logical, too practical. Maybe I just cared way, way too much for the parties involved. If it sounds like I'm hurt, you bet I am. I feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest, on many levels. I can only imagine what my daughter must feel like, much less the baby! He's lost a parent, overnight, with no explanation--one who's been with him his whole life, and who would absolutely die for him--and apparently with no concern as to the long term effects it will have on him at his young and very impressionable age to possibly never again be able to see people who mean so much to him, and who he means so much to! This is not fair to him, and at his young age, bound to traumatize him to no end. My oldest means the absolute world to him.

Maybe they will work it all out....for the baby's sake, I hope so. But although the love that already exists in this family will never alter, there will be a long way to go before trust can ever be rebuilt among the other relationships affected by this. I couldn't be sicker at heart if I tried, or more worried for them all.

87 Days To Go...

Oh, the highs and lows...

OK, first off, my trip was great. Had an awesome and most-needed time bonding with my M-I-L, and even though the trip itself was hard, it was well worth it! And the time with my youngest was...precious to me and to her dad. I could never replace it. So now she's off...back to FL. For now.

*sigh* I miss her.

Then, I had a great day with my hunny....today is our first anniversary. Happy Anniversary, baby....I love you!

Then, I got back home....and all hell had broken loose. My oldest is having a relationship crisis, and I don't know if it will survive or not. But her other half has gotten homesick and decided to return to NC, and she's decided to stay here. Neither is willing to budge, and I can see both sides, although I think they are making a series of very wrong decisions, which are just going to snowball on them, I'm afraid. Maybe they'll be able to work it out...I hope so, if for no other reason than that they have a child caught up in this that does NOT understand what's going on.

Maybe they won't be able to. Please keep them in your prayers, especially Dakota. They all need them.

97 Days To Go...

Well, this time next week, I'll be headed home. Hard to believe. I've been looking forward to this trip for so long now, or at least it seems that way.

Got some bad news last night that could affect our future plans. Let's hope it's only a temporary setback, and not a permanent one. Regardless, we'll overcome it, it just may take a little longer than originally planned. Keep us in your prayers...

Also, please keep both myself and my m-i-l in your prayers as we travel next week, and also my youngest, as she will be flying back to FL next weekend...I can't stand to even think about that right now...

I'll be out of blogging range until the 20th, but will try to post an update then, along with pics if I have them by then. Have a great week, everyone....I know I will!

Day 100...WHOO-HOO!!!

Wow, it's hard to believe it's just a little over 3 months to the BIG day! I'm really getting excited, now. And i'm even more excited to think that I'm heading to Missouri this weekend....already! I can't wait to see my baby, I just know I'm gonna be a total wreck.

I had a great weekend visiting with my NC buddies, even if it was on the run. It was a very busy but productive weekend, in all. My oldest has a 2nd interview today, so I'm sending all the positive energy I can her way. I hope to hear good things by the time I get home!

And I also get to see my MAN Sunday! Let's not forget that...it's too important! He doesn't know it yet, but he thinks this will be the last time I get to see him before our first anniversary. He doesn't know I'm going to try to sneak back down there Sunday week to see him again...that's IF we get back from Missouri in time! (Can you believe it's already been a YEAR???) So I'm not gonna tell him until the Saturday before, probably, if I get to go. Our anniversary is on Monday this year, so we won't be able to spend the actual day together. So don't any of you tell him, because he's going to think I'm still heading back from Missouri!!! It's the only surprise he can get!!!

Well, besides a card...and a smooch or two...

Day 104...

Well, I have written my last letter to my youngest...the last one I can send her while she's at basic, anyway. Now I can't do anything but sit and wait.

On the flip side, I also made hotel reservations today...and just in time too! The hotels were all so booked up, I think I got the very last room there was! Only one more week before we leave. And yes, I did say we...my m-i-l is going with me, and I'm also very excited about that, because I don't get to see her near enough, and have never had the chance to have any one-on-one with her, so I'm really looking forward to being able to share this experience with her. I have the absolute greatest in-laws in the history of the world!

I also found out yesterday that my oldest is now gainfully employed. So that's both of them down, now. Still don't have the details, but just the fact that a paycheck is coming has got to be a relief...now if we can just get everything else on track...

I'm expecting my best buddies, Bonnie and Scott down this weekend from N.C., and I can't wait to see them. It's been over a year, and we just never seem to have enough time together! More on that Monday. In the meantime, have a great weekend, everybody!