Day 286...

So, I'm sitting here, thinking about this new creation I've designed, staring at my new blog page in all its glory, and I wonder....why does this seem so important to me? Seems like it's taken on a life of its own. Of course, I've always been a communicator...I'm a Gemini, for pete's sake. If I can't talk, I explode. That's the creed I live by. Ask anyone who's been around me in person for even five minutes, and they will vehemently agree...usually accompanied by a roll of the eyes.
But as much as I love to talk and write, even back 3 or 4 years ago, I wasn't as prolific with my writing as I am now. These days, I seem to constantly be on a keyboard, emailing, texting, posting, blogging. In fact, back then I was doing good to check my email. So why the change?
Part of it, I think, has to do with age, and time. In the past 6 years, I've lost two of the most important and influential people in my life...first my husband, Bill, and then my father. Losses like that tend to make one introspective, to say the least. On top of that, my children have all flown the coop, leaving me battling empty nest syndrome with a vengeance...compounded by the fact that they all live in different states, and none of them are in mine.
Then there's Alan. Always.
My knight in shining armor who swept me off my feet when I least expected it. The wind beneath my wings. The other half of my soul. Everything begins and ends with him.
Being seven hours and hundreds of miles away with incredibly limited means of communication is wearing thin, to say the least. And we've been doing this since the beginning. In August, we'll be celebrating our third anniversary, and yet...we're still apart.
Now, I've moved to TN, where I'm doing my best to establish new roots into the bedrock of these healing mountains for both of us. But it's harder than it seems...I know noone here other than my in-laws. Having always been surrounded with a surplus of family and friends, I now find myself at times feeling as adrift as an empty boat on a lonely sea. I cannot share my life right now...that need must be shelved until February. But I can share my heart with those who will listen...and as a matter of self-preservation, I find myself doing this more and more.
Thank God for Outlander....a little paperback book I picked up years ago. Who knew what roads it would eventually lead me down? The support of its fans has garnered me lifelong friends, and a support group beyond parallel. My friends have proven to be my salvation, after all. And if, by blogging, I manage to stave off the ever-impending explosion...so much the better, aye?