Ok, now I do know that I am prone to panicking, most of the time about nothing....I do know that. So nobody needs to remind me.
HOWEVER....
I can't help being in a state of panic right now because two of the people I love most in this world are panicking, and I am helpless to do anything about it. I feel like I am responsible in a way because I encouraged hope to form where there was none before, and now that hope may be destroyed. I may have unintentionally caused way more damage ( as if it were possible at this stage) than there would have been if I had just kept my damn mouth SHUT. I am running against a massive time constraint, I have things I HAVE to get done YESTERDAY if things have any hope of coming together in the end, and yet, the ability to get those things done is not in my hands. If the people involved can't or don't do anything to help themselves, then I can do nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. If they would just talk to me then maybe I could help to fix it. I know everybody is scared to death, that's natural, for God's sake. But in the end, there is nothing to be scared of, except being paralyzed by that fear. Roller coasters are scary, too, but worth every second of that interminable line you have to wait in to get there. And yes, there is that moment of pure helplessness that you feel and the desperate need to turn back that is experienced at the second the cars leave the platform. But, oh God, what a rush! And then you can't wait to do it all over again, this time without the fear, just pure exhilaration and joy. This is what's happening here...the fear of no turning back. But that fear is ONLY an illusion. Unlike a roller coaster, you can always pull the plug at any stage. The only thing to fear, is fear.
God, I hate to see a grown man cry. I'll do anything I have to to keep that from happening. Please pray for my family, that they will realize that God has not given them a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.
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