Officially, A Man...

Today is my son's 21st birthday. Seems like yesterday he was born. I would like to say that today he is a man, but it would be a lie. He's been a man for quite some time, and I have just failed to acknowledge it...probably because I hate admitting that my baby boy is grown and doesn't need me any more. But that's not true...they never grow past the need for their parents' love, do they? And I will always be able to give that, no matter what the future may bring.

Happy Birthday, my strong, capable, handsome son! I love you more than you will ever know, and today, on this milestone celebration of your birth, I honor you for all you have accomplished and overcome. All the obstacles that have been thrown repeatedly in your way over the years have become stepping stones to greater things, and I am so proud of the way you have learned how to handle yourself. Your resilience and strength shine out of you as a testament to all who come in contact with you of the fact that you have arrived at a new phase of your life, ready and able to meet it head-on.

In just a few short months, you will be holding your first-born in your arms, much as I held you 21 years ago today, and the enormity of that event will flow over you as you look down in that trusting face and realize that you hold the keys of potential for so much of what she will become, and that your job will be to shape and mold her into the beautiful confident, independent woman she will be. No father could be better equipped to prepare her for hardships and disappointments, for no father has ever had more of an uphill climb than you, my son. And no father could ever be more prepared to bestow so much time and love on his child, for no father has ever fully understood the impact of a strong father figure on a child's life more than you do. You've learned that the hard way, too, my son.

You're past the hard part, now....look full into the face of the rising sun, and feel its warmth and brightness welcoming you into a new day.

Be well, and truly blessed, my beautiful, wonderful son. May the deepest and most heartfelt of Birthday wishes be to you today, and may you always know that you are loved beyond all reason.

Playing Catch-up...

Wow...so much has happened since the last time I blogged, it's incredible! I guess it serves me right for letting everything pile up for so many days without writing. I can't be too hard on myself though, it's not like there's been a lot of time to do this!

OK, first, I've managed to move Shanna and Kyle up here from Sarasota, along with most of their stuff, and they've moved in my house along with Ian and Krystal. There are still boxes everywhere, but it's getting there. Since I've had to work, Krystal's been great about running Shanna and Kyle everywhere so they could get registered for all the stuff they've needed to do. The only thing left is school, and we're waiting on Social Security cards to arrive so they can do that. In the meantime, they will probably have to wait until after the Holidays to get registered, because it's right at exam time now, and they have to go to the school board to get registered. Everywhere you turn, it's nothing but red tape!

Yesterday was Shanna's first Dr. appt. She went with Krystal, and they're both using the same Dr., so it's very convenient, thank God. Both got ultrasounds. Krystal's baby is sitting breech, and is down so low in her pelvis that...you guessed it...they can't see what it is. So many ultrasounds, so little info. This baby is trying to be as mysterious as her Daddy thinks he is! But all still seems to be well, and she is now in her 30th week.

Shanna also got an ultrasound, and got lots of pics of her little tadpole, which came out very clear, complete with flippers and everything! So incredible...I'd have given anything to have seen what my babies looked like! Of course, it's waaay too early to determine the sex, but so far, so good. They did back up the due date, though, to July 21st, so she's in her 9th week now.

This week has been very rocky in other ways, too. We had a problem with lighting the pilot light on the water heater, so they went a week with no hot water. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the sewer lines backed up, so we had to get that fixed. It could have been so bad, but God was with us, and with a little help from our friends, we got by with no bloodshed, and very little money spent! For that alone, I am profoundly thankful for the Angels God sends to take care of us. But can I tell you how my boys rose to the occasion? I have never, ever been so proud, and that's saying a lot! Thank you, boys, for all your help. I love you!

This weekend, Shanna and I will be heading south, while everybody else tries to finish settling in, unpacking boxes, etc. And next week, we'll be planning to merge our trip to see Tex next weekend with shooting farther south to Sarasota so they can see Kyle's parents on Christmas eve and get the rest of their stuff while they're down there (including their bed, much to Shanna's relief...her back's killing her from sleeping on an air mattress on the floor!). Then it's back to Baxley to spend Christmas day with Dad!

A Week of Thanksgiving...

Wow. What a rush. This past week has been such a whirlwind ride that I'm not sure if my feet are even on the ground YET. There is so much to tell, and I'm not sure in my present state if I can even do it justice, but I will try.

I picked up Shanna and Kyle at the airport Friday night. I immediately liked him, he has honest eyes, an infectious laugh, and genuine love for my daughter radiating from every pore of his being. What's not to like? So, we loaded up and headed south.

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, and full of promise. Shanna and I headed to see her dad, for the first time in 14 years. I could tell she was nervous, but excitement outweighed it by far. We had a few anxious moments at the beginning, because of a paperwork snafu, and then we were in. When he came through the door, she was scared to turn around and look at him, but I took her shoulders, and turned her, and she looked. And when he held out his arms to her, she fell into them, and they just stood there sobbing their hearts out for all those years that have been deprived of them. It was just so easy. There was never any strain or difficulty, and they fell into a pattern of laughter and cameraderie that continued over the next week. Suddenly, all those questions seemed unimportant. They would keep, and if not, it just didn't seem to matter anymore. There were a lot of tears all around, but they were good tears...healing tears. And there was love. She shared with him that she was expecting, that she was engaged, that they wanted to wait to have a full-blown wedding until he could walk her down the aisle. And that if the baby was a boy, they wanted to name him after his Grandpa. One blessing after another kept heaping into Tex's lap. And when they told him they wanted to move to GA so they could be closer to him, he just fell apart. And I don't have to tell you I was right there with him.

By Sunday afternoon, the tears were coming a little faster, but we knew we still had 4 days to look forward to, this time with Kyle, too. So it wasn't so bad. Sunday afternoon, we headed back to Conyers, and stopped first at Andy and Sherry's house for a long-awaited 18th birthday talk, in which much was revealed...both ways.

Monday was spent be-bopping around town with various family members and resting up from the weekend, and Monday night my family held a birthday party for Shanna at my mom's house, where she broke the news to them.

Tuesday, they went with my mom to trim a christmas tree, and get a marriage license, and Tuesday night we went to my Aunt Judy's house for dinner, and she broke the news to them, along with the fact that they were getting married the next day by Andy's best friend Mike, who also married me and Alan. Thus began the great shopping rush to get everyone ready for the festivities. I've never seen a wedding thrown together so well in such little time!

Wednesday, while Shanna went shopping with Judy and my mom, Kyle went to work with me, so we could keep them apart, and also so we could go shopping for rings. We did good. That night, at Dickerson's Automotive, they said their vows in front of their family. And Grandbear made the trip from TN and surprised us all. We didn't think either of them would be able to make it on such short notice. It meant so much that he could be there. Afterward, we had a small reception at Andy and Sherry's house, complete with a beautiful coconut wedding cake, and then Grandbear drove the newlyweds to their hotel room...but not without stopping first at the waffle house for a 'talk'.

Thursday morning, we left bright and early for S. Ga again, and spent the next 4 days laughing, joking, bonding, and planning for our future. Alan has now redesigned our house plans to include a nursery for the baby, since they have decided to live with us for a while to make up for so much lost time. And even though it was so hard to say goodbye Sunday night, and take them back to the airport, we have made tentative plans to move them up this coming weekend. I just need to get the official go-ahead from them as to exactly when they'll be ready...I'm ready NOW.

All things considered, it went so well...far beyond our wildest dreams. We have not only added our youngest daughter back into our family, but gained a new son and future grandbaby as well. And we are all profoundly thankful for all the blessings God has chosen to bestow on us thoughout this year, and the coming year, too.

Thank you, Lord, for these and all of your blessings, we are most humbly grateful.

Happy Birthday, Shanna Malii!

Today is my youngest daughter's 18th birthday. I am so excited for her. This is the beginning of a whole new phase of her life, a whole new horizon of possibility is opening up to her. And she will finally find out the truth...about her life, and her father. And she will know the answers to questions she's been asking in her heart since she was very little.

Baby girl, you've brought me great joy, how much more so to your dad? We both love you so so much, there are no words. We're incredibly proud of you...of your decisions, your accomplishments, your honesty and integrity, and most of all, of your courage in the face of incredible adversity. All that adds up to ensure that whatever you do, wherever your life takes you now, you will be a success.

We all love you, sweetheart, your grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, your sister and brother and their families, and of course, your dad and I, more than you could ever know. We have watched you grow from a small, bubbly tow-headed angel, to the beautiful, strong woman you are today. And we are all glowing with pride and love at all you have accomplished.

Here's to the glorious future, filled with hope, healing, and happiness. Happy Birthday, my beautiful, accomplished, darling girl, and may all the questions harbored so long in your heart be answered this coming week!

OMG....Only 2 Days Left??

Yes, that's right! Only 2 days until the big event. I can't believe it! This year has gone by so fast in some ways and really, really dragged in others, but it's one more year we don't have to wait, thank God.

I am so profoundly blessed. More blessed this year than ever before, and I guess all things considered, I have lived a pretty blessed life! Just since January, I have celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary, traveled on 2 different cruises to Mexico and the Caribbean, gained a new, incredible friend, who is invaluable to me, among many other reasons, for making it possible to visit my husband so much. I have grown more in love with my husband, and drawn closer and closer to him, and felt him draw closer and closer to me. I have gained a daughter, a future daughter-in-law (I hope), and a future grandchild. I have seen my oldest daughter grow in wisdom, seen my son grow in maturity, and seen my youngest daughter graduate from basic training, and grow in understanding...of the future, and the past. And although I lost my father this year, I was also blessed beyond words to have been holding his hand as he passed on after a long and full life.

And now, I will see my youngest daughter reach her 18th birthday, and we will celebrate the newfound freedom this milestone this will create for her, much more than for others her age. For this is the beginning of a whole new phase of her life in so many ways. And we...her father and I, once again, will be profoundly blessed, because she has been the biggest blessing of all.

Thank you, Lord, for your grace and mercy. And thank you most of all, for all your blessings. Amen.

8 Days Left...

OMG, only 8 days???? I remember it was over 200 when I started counting. And now just a little over a week from now....

Wow!

I'm getting really excited now. And next week, man, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to stand it! I need to get some camera film so I can take lots of pics next week! I talked to my youngest Monday night, and all is still on track. She's doing well, and is also very excited about her visit!

Had dinner with Ian and Krystal last night. We had a good time plotting and planning for the future. They're also excited about next week, for two reasons. First, my youngest's birthday and visit, but second, because Krystal's next dr. visit will be on the same day. Wouldn't it be nice if we found out the baby's sex on my youngest's birthday?

Here's wishing!

Day 13....

OMG, only two more weeks to go! I'm SO trying not to think about it, but it's getting so hard, because I'm so excited! I can tell Tex is doing anything he can to keep his mind occupied, just in case everything falls through at the last minute. I feel really sure that's not going to happen at this stage of the game, unless it happens on his end...GA red tape being what it is, and all. If it happens, we'll deal with it. That's all I know. Regardless of what happens, I'll be there with a broom and dustpan to pick up whatever pieces I have to, on both ends. There will be massive disappointment all around, I'm sure. But I really don't think that will happen. I feel very, very optimistic at this point.

Pretty big weekend, this weekend. We're having a traveling party heading south, it seems! On Sunday, my mom, my in-laws, Tex's brother and his wife and (hopefully) daughter are all going down with me to see Tex. I am so looking forward to that, it's been a while since so many have been down, and he always looks so forward to it...like having a piece of home. We always seem to have such a great time..the only thing is, the time flies by so fast. Right now, I'm just glad that we have this distraction to help us get through the next two weeks.

In other news, Krystal seems to still be holding her own, and the baby seems to be fine, according to Ian. I haven't talked to her this week, because she hasn't really been online. I've also talked briefly with my oldest daughter, and apparently they're all doing well, too. My little man is doing good in school, other than playing in his food at lunch, and hitting other kids. So, for the moment, at least, there seem to be no fires to put out in the immediate future for a change.

....I just hope that's not a glow I see on the horizon!

Only 17 More Days To Go...

Ok, it's really hard not to get excited when I can see it all over my husband's face, and hear it in my daughter's voice when she calls me. I have never wanted the days to fly by faster than I do right now, and at the same time, I know this experience will only happen once, and I don't want to rush it! What a predicament to be in. My only consolation is that I know they're having just as hard a time waiting...if not harder!....than I am. It will come, this I know.

Talked to my youngest Friday night, and all is well. She is completely moved to her new home now, and although she is sad at the way it transpired, she is also adjusting very well to her new surroundings, and seems very happy. All is well, and she and her boyfriend are very excited about coming to Atlanta on the 16th.

Tex is also calmly resolved. He is past the panic that enveloped him a few weeks back, and is simply waiting now. I have to say he really sent me back yesterday. We were talking to an aunt and uncle who were visiting with us, and I mentioned how this past year had gone by so fast for us compared to previous years because this year, we had so many events spaced so evenly apart that we were able to look forward to something about every 5 or 6 weeks. And then he spoke up in that quiet way of his and pointed out how much he loved it when I said "we" all the time, but that it really wasn't necessary that I do that. When I told him that it wasn't intentional, and that I just always thought in those terms, he let me know that this would be the first time that HE had had an event at all this year. Wow...I really had to think about that one. Just because I'm out here experiencing all these events I keep thinking that me taking that back to him is the same as him experiencing it through me, and although he does experience it in a way because he has to help me plan for things, and he sees pics and hears about it all, he does not actively participate in any of it. Wow...I guess it's like my son is so fond of saying...."If you're not the lead elephant, Mom, the scenery never changes."

*sigh*

I think he has the right of it.

Day 22...

Wow! First off, what a great weekend I had! It was so much fun. Tracy and I had the BEST time ever at the Highland Games, and I will be posting pics as soon as I can steal them off of her website...hehehehe. So a great time of fun and fellowship. And most definately something I'll be looking forward to for next year! If you have any kind of Scottish background, you really should go, and if not to this one specifically, then most definately to one in your area. You owe it to yourself to experience firsthand all the athletic events, food, historical information, dancing, music, and the band competitions. Incredible!

In other news, Krystal did go back to the hospital yesterday for a comprehensive ultrasound, which revealed nothing more than a healthy baby, who apparently is incredibly modest, as it is still refusing to reveal its gender. This time, the cord was bunched up between the legs, impeding our view, so I guess we will...once again...have to wait another month, and hope it changes its mind about sharing between now and then.

My youngest is all set to travel in November, and her boyfriend will be coming up with her to meet the family, so we are all really excited about this. I will be posting the agenda a little closer to time, for those of you who are interested.

Don't forget to keep your eye on my pics for the new ones. I'll try to post them later tonight, and I will also send out a bulletin when I do. Make sure to let me know what you think!

Day 27...

Wow...less than a month. I can't even think about this right now...

We were supposed to find out the sex of the baby yesterday, but it was rolled up in a little ball, so we didn't get to. They're sending Krystal to the hospital on Tuesday for a more comprehensive ultrasound, and we should know more then. Fingers crossed, everybody! The suspense is killing us! How did we used to wait 9 months to find this out????

In other news, today is Friday, and I have an exciting weekend ahead. My friend, Tracy is coming over from Birmingham to spend the weekend, and we are going tomorrow to the Stone Mountain Highland Games, where we will drool over men in kilts, and explore our family roots. Should be lots of fun! I will, of course be working my two weekend dog/house-sitting jobs around this bit of gaity and fun.

Then, on Sunday, I will be going down to spend the day with Tex, after which I will be going to enjoy fellowship and cameraderie over a fire pit....complete with marshmallows. A good time is expected to be had by all.

Cheers, and slainte mhath!

Only 30 Days To Go, People!

Ok, big news. BIG news! We have a new baby in the family! My nephew Eric and his wife, Jen are proud parents to their second very healthy son, Caleb Maxwell, born this afternoon in Phoenix. Caleb weighs 7 lbs even, and is 20 inches long. Both Mom and Baby seem to be doing fine.

Congratulations, guys! I can't wait to see the little fella...

In other news, only 2 more days before we find out what OUR baby is going to be! I'm still banking on a girl, but a boy would be great, too!

Day 34...

Well, well, well...

Time's a-windin' down, now ain't it? Whodathunkit? Not me, that's for sure!

Seems like this whole year has flown by so fast it's made my head spin, and then in other respects....time has never in my life moved so slowly! I don't know what I'm gonna do to make the time pass after November.

OK, maybe that's not entirely true. After all, I have Christmas to look forward to, and a new grandbaby in February/March, and then my youngest is graduating in May, and then who knows what next summer will bring? Not me, but I know it will certainly be an exciting one! Will I move, or wait? Will I travel, or stay home? And will my hubby be home with me? It's always a possiblility...after all, his contract IS up for review next June, so anything's possible. Not likely, but possible nonetheless.

This weekend, I plan on seeing my hubby on Saturday instead of the usual Sunday, due to the fact that I have to make an airport run on Sunday for my sister and mom, who are leaving for Phoenix for the week. My new grand-nephew is due to make an appearance on Tuesday, so I'm sure I'll have much more to write about by then.

I also have heard from my youngest, who is doing very well at the moment, just getting very excited about November, as her Dad and I both are! Her sweetie may be coming with her when she flies up, if we can work it out. He really wants to, so he can meet her family, and I have to say I for one can't wait to meet him, too! He's good to her, and he also seems to be good FOR her, so we'll see....

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Only 38 Days To Go...

Ok, it's Monday again, but it's OCTOBER, and NOVEMBER is right around the corner! With everything that's planned over the next 6 weeks, I know the time is going to FLY by!

I saw Tex on Sunday, and he was in such a good mood! News of our youngest has him floating on cloud 9 again, which is his usual state, anyway. So all is well...for the moment, anyway...in my universe.

I wasn't able to be nearly as industrious as I had hoped on Saturday, but I did get a lot done, so it's not like the day was a total waste, or anything. And I don't think I'll be working next weekend, so I'll probably have time to do the rest on my list then. Until then, I'll just...be happy!

Day 41...Thank God it's Friday!

Guess, what? I'm not BTTW this weekend! Can you believe it??? I know I can't!

True, I am spending the day Sunday with my hubby, but Saturday is ALL MINE...(cackle, cackle) well, other than babysitting for about an hour tomorrow afternoon, which I do NOT consider a chore. I'm so busy, I don't get to babysit much for my children/nieces/nephews, so when I get to, it's like a gift, even if it's only for 1/2 an hour.

I am still flying high from my Monday night phone call, and after much conversation with various peanut galleries, I've pretty much decided to tell Tex that November is a go. I know that it's risky, just in case things not in our control go south in a hurry, but the alternative is him knowing we held out on him. And that, sports fans, I am NOT prepared to deal with. Not now, not ever, never. Got it? If he held out on me, especially on something this big, I'd have to think seriously about killing him, so how can I expect him to be any different? I value my skin...a lot. Therefore, he will be told Sunday, and let the chips fall where they may. If things go south, which at this point, I seriously doubt, then we'll deal with them then. I have to learn to have faith sometime. Now's as good a time as any, huh?

I'm going to spend my Saturday doing things I want to do, for a change. I'm going to go give my house a once-over, put some stuff in storage that is *still* sitting in my room, and maybe even wash my truck. I also have to get my tail light fixed. Regular Saturday stuff...for a change.

...Right after I finish all the stuff my Mom wants me to do.

*sigh*

Day 44...Getting Closer!

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I posted...

I had a very busy but wonderful weekend. Got a lot done, and spent all day Sunday with my wonderful Tex, who has calmed down quite a bit, by the way...I think the word is "resigned". Monday, I had surgery to have a broken tooth removed...fun city! So I've been on drugs all day while I've been working on payroll. The results ought to be very interesting to say the least!

And the great part is that I finally heard from my youngest. All is well, just a case of "same song, second verse". And everything, Thank God, is still on track for November. However, I think because I can't stand to see Tex go through any more right now, I'll just keep the updated plans to myself for now. The relief I feel from that phone call is totally undescribeable, I can tell you! I've never been so glad to hear from anyone in my whole life!

I think things are also going well for my oldest, and she is close to making some very positive changes in her life. What exactly they will be is anybody's guess at the moment, but I can tell she is at a crossroads, so whatever she decides to do will be pivotal for her. But I sure do miss her. Things just aren't the same when I don't hear from my girls!

OK, so the next big thing on my agenda, I guess, will be finding out what the baby's gonna be. That should happen on the 18th, so we have a little over 2 weeks to wait for that. That's ok, it will be a nice distraction from thinking about November! And mom seems to be doing fine in the meantime.

If any of my "kids" read this, mommy loves you!

Day 49...Fear Factor

Ok, now I do know that I am prone to panicking, most of the time about nothing....I do know that. So nobody needs to remind me.

HOWEVER....

I can't help being in a state of panic right now because two of the people I love most in this world are panicking, and I am helpless to do anything about it. I feel like I am responsible in a way because I encouraged hope to form where there was none before, and now that hope may be destroyed. I may have unintentionally caused way more damage ( as if it were possible at this stage) than there would have been if I had just kept my damn mouth SHUT. I am running against a massive time constraint, I have things I HAVE to get done YESTERDAY if things have any hope of coming together in the end, and yet, the ability to get those things done is not in my hands. If the people involved can't or don't do anything to help themselves, then I can do nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. If they would just talk to me then maybe I could help to fix it. I know everybody is scared to death, that's natural, for God's sake. But in the end, there is nothing to be scared of, except being paralyzed by that fear. Roller coasters are scary, too, but worth every second of that interminable line you have to wait in to get there. And yes, there is that moment of pure helplessness that you feel and the desperate need to turn back that is experienced at the second the cars leave the platform. But, oh God, what a rush! And then you can't wait to do it all over again, this time without the fear, just pure exhilaration and joy. This is what's happening here...the fear of no turning back. But that fear is ONLY an illusion. Unlike a roller coaster, you can always pull the plug at any stage. The only thing to fear, is fear.

God, I hate to see a grown man cry. I'll do anything I have to to keep that from happening. Please pray for my family, that they will realize that God has not given them a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.

Day 51...

Well, this weekend I finally figured out what had me in such a funk all last week. My wonderful husband is stressing on me so bad right now, I think he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown! He is so worried that something is going to go wrong in November and someone is going to come to him and say that an I didn't get dotted, or a T didn't get crossed, that he's making us both miserable in the process. If we get to the last minute and that happens, he may be spending some time alone for quite awhile, and not by choice...if you know what I mean. He can take a changing of the mind, but after all they've been through, and all this time, if somebody comes to him and says "it can't happen because of beaurocratic red tape" he's gonna go ballistic. It won't be pretty. And I don't want to see it.

In the meantime, I have to sit there and watch him suffer for the next 7 weeks, knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it better. Please pray for him, and for the situation, that after all this time, the most important event in his life will go smoothly for everyone concerned. We need prayer for this...really. It's bad now, and it's only getting worse every week. I don't know what he's gonna be like 7 weeks from now, but (and I can't believe I'm saying this...you'll just have to look past the obvious) I'm not looking forward to seeing him Sunday. I'm just so worried about him!

55 Days To Go...

Another Friday has rolled around. Another gut-busting weekend is beginning. Seems like all I do...ever...is work. No down time. Ever.

Don't get me wrong...I'm ecstatic to be able to make the extra bucks, and I most definately need it...I couldn't make ends meet without it, so it's really a blessing from God. And I don't...BELIEVE ME...want to sound ungrateful, because I am PROFOUNDLY grateful. I'm just...tired. To the bone tired. And I see no immediate end in sight. What I wouldn't give to sell this freaking house.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I heard from my youngest a couple of days ago. All is well, (as well as ever, anyway) except that she's been very sick for the last week or so. Sweetheart, if you read this, Get Well Soon!

And I am feeling a bit better every day, even with the cloudy skies playing fast and loose with my SAD (seasonal affective disorder...look it up). But I can't seem to shake this feeling of gloominess that has crept up out of nowhere this week and is plaguing me to no end. It is so foreign to my 'naturally sunny disposition' that I don't know how to deal with it. Everybody keeps asking me what is wrong...either they think I'm upset about something, or they think I'm pissed. I don't know what to tell them....hell, I don't know myself what's wrong. Maybe I'm just tired.

Regardless, my weekend is...as usual...so damn loaded down, I'll be lucky to see the light of day, overcast or otherwise. The bright spot is seeing my hubby on Sunday. I'm going down with my in-laws to spend the day, and I'm looking so forward to that and to seeing them, too, that it will almost make up for all the house-cleaning, dog-sitting, friend-moving, and daughter-transporting-to-another-state that I'll be doing between now and then. And let's not forget the pile of laundry that's waiting at home, and the piles of old stuff I'm sorting through to put in storage that have temporarily taken up residence (and taken over all the space) in my room. Sometime between now and Monday morning, I have to take care of all that, too.

*sigh*

Pray for me, will ya? Have a great weekend.

Day 58...

I am in a major funk and can't seem to pull myself out of it. I don't know what it's being caused by. I've thought about it for the past two days and just can't seem to put my finger on it. I know there are probably elements of a lot of different factors contributing to it, but the fact is, I almost never get like this, and when I do, the reason is usually crystal-clear. But this time, I dunno...

Is it kid-related? Possibly...My oldest is still in limbo, my son still doesn't know what the baby is because it was kicking so much on the ultrasound, and my youngest hasn't called me in about 2 weeks, so maybe.

Is it money-related? Probably...there never, ever seems to be enough to go around, and no matter how much I get, it's gone before I can even close my fingers around it, so yeah, probably.

Is it Tex-related? Most likely...Where do I even start? Let's just say our patience has worn a thin patch in the fabric of our situation, and I'm doing my best to darn the hole. I keep trying to look on the bright side, but it's just really hard to do sometimes. The one sunny spot we have right now is Thanksgiving, and ...I don't know. I guess I just need to leave it alone for now.

Who the hell knows? Some days it just doesn't pay to get up.

Day 65...The Agony and The Ecstasy...

I got a phone call yesterday from my realtor to let me know to be expecting an offer on my house. OMG, I just about went through the ROOF I was so excited, and all I wanted to do was call Tex...which I can't do anymore. But since I hadn't gotten the actual offer, I bit my tongue and didn't tell anyone so I could wait and tell them about the offer, too.

Well, when I hadn't heard anything by this afternoon, I decided to call and find out what was going on. That's when I found out the lady that was going to submit the offer had decided not to move after all. So...no contract.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*heavy sigh*

I guess it's back to square one.

69 Days To Go....BIG Scoop, People....Listen UP!!

OK, I can't stand it any more!!! I have to tell you what my big news is.

I'm going to be a grandmother! Ian and his girlfriend, Krystal are expecting. The due date is...February 29th. Can you believe it? A leap-year baby! Yeah, yeah, I know the chances are slim to none that the baby will actually be born on that day, BUT...it IS Ian's baby, so.....

Krystal's next ultrasound is due to be done on September 18th, and we should find out the sex of the baby then. I'll keep you all posted. And for those of you who may ask me if I'm worried, Yes, there's a part of me that is, but I also know that they'll do just fine, and if they have trouble, well, that's what they've got us for, huh? They can always let her Nana and Poppy take her for a breather...or Great-Grandma (who doesn't know yet, by the way. She's supposed to find out this weekend when she gets back in town)...or Auntie Jes, or Auntie Malii....shall I go on? But I CALL FIRST DIBS AND YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! (and yes, by the way, we think it's a girl...)

Day 76...What a Relief!!

I have heard from my baby, and everything's fine!!! I am so relieved! I know she doesn't mean to scare me, she's just doing her thing. But her thing is giving me gray hairs (well, more of 'em, anyway) and she doesn't even realize it! I knew I shouldn't be worried, and Tex would be screaming his head off laughing at me if he knew, but I can't help it...it's the mom in me. So she's just going to have to get used to it, I guess.

Anyway, all is as well as it can be right now for her, other than the fact that she's having a bit of trouble adjusting back to BBT life (before basic training), and she's got a really stiff class load this year, especially the second half. Lots of honors classes, so she probably won't be able to get a job and keep her grades up, too. And, oh, yeah....she dyed her hair black. I'm posting pics in case anybody's interested in seeing them. Actually, I think it looks pretty good. Everybody needs a change every once in a while, so why not?

Day 79...Worried Sick, pt. 2...and also, On Top of the World, Ma!

How's that for going to two extremes??? This entry's got the potential to be awesome at the same time it could be really bad. Let's start with the bad stuff first...

I haven't heard from my youngest since the night she got home. No phone call, no email, no nothing. Now yes, she IS a teenager, but she is also a very responsible one, and it is so not like her to not be in touch. I know she's really busy right now trying to get back in school and trying to get in the swing of all things Army Reserve, so maybe I'm just angsting over nothing. But then again...knowing her situation, maybe I'm not. I wish I knew. Regardless, I'm not going to say anything to Tex yet...just in case I'm being totally stupid. I know as soon as I post this, my phone's probably gonna ring.

And while I'm on the bad stuff, my oldest is still hanging out there in limbo, so please keep your prayers up for them...mainly for my Kota. He doesn't understand anything that is happening in his world right now, and I'm afraid that it's not going to get any easier for him anytime soon.

Now for the good stuff....and this, although it is really laced with a lot...a LOT...of potential problems, is really, REALLY good. Problem is, I can't say what it is, because I promised I wouldn't....yet. All I can say is that if I don't tell by February of next year (and I don't explode from having to hold it all in), you'll know by then. And no, as much as I'd like to say it has to do with Tex, it doesn't. Actually, it involves my son, so as long as you're praying, please keep him and his girlfriend in your prayers, too, and I'll update this bit as soon as I get the official go-ahead.

Whew! I did pretty good, didn't I...?

Day 84....Worried Sick

I'm heartsick....just....heartsick. And there's nothing I can do about it, because it's not my problem. It's my oldest's, and her significant other's. They are making the biggest mess out of their lives, and I have to stand by and watch. What kills me is not them so much.... they are, after all, adults and they are perfectly capable of making their own decisions regarding their relationship and their respective careers. What is absolutely killing me is the blatant disregard that is being shown for the feelings of others in the family on both sides, most especially for the baby.

If there was such a desperate need to return to the mountains that it couldn't be worked out in the right way, why not share that with the ones who cared so much and who tried so hard to help? And even then, does that need demand such a rush that proper notifications couldn't be made, and proper notices worked? And if it did....what in the hell could possibly be that important? Even a death in the family would warrant a phone call of explanation...one wouldn't slink out of town without wanting others to know the reason. And one certainly wouldn't decide, come hell or high water--and regardless of the feelings of others--to blatantly leave, ripping up their family in the process, and without so much as a word of explanation to others when they have gone out of their way to do all they could to show they cared.

Maybe I'm just too logical, too practical. Maybe I just cared way, way too much for the parties involved. If it sounds like I'm hurt, you bet I am. I feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest, on many levels. I can only imagine what my daughter must feel like, much less the baby! He's lost a parent, overnight, with no explanation--one who's been with him his whole life, and who would absolutely die for him--and apparently with no concern as to the long term effects it will have on him at his young and very impressionable age to possibly never again be able to see people who mean so much to him, and who he means so much to! This is not fair to him, and at his young age, bound to traumatize him to no end. My oldest means the absolute world to him.

Maybe they will work it all out....for the baby's sake, I hope so. But although the love that already exists in this family will never alter, there will be a long way to go before trust can ever be rebuilt among the other relationships affected by this. I couldn't be sicker at heart if I tried, or more worried for them all.

87 Days To Go...

Oh, the highs and lows...

OK, first off, my trip was great. Had an awesome and most-needed time bonding with my M-I-L, and even though the trip itself was hard, it was well worth it! And the time with my youngest was...precious to me and to her dad. I could never replace it. So now she's off...back to FL. For now.

*sigh* I miss her.

Then, I had a great day with my hunny....today is our first anniversary. Happy Anniversary, baby....I love you!

Then, I got back home....and all hell had broken loose. My oldest is having a relationship crisis, and I don't know if it will survive or not. But her other half has gotten homesick and decided to return to NC, and she's decided to stay here. Neither is willing to budge, and I can see both sides, although I think they are making a series of very wrong decisions, which are just going to snowball on them, I'm afraid. Maybe they'll be able to work it out...I hope so, if for no other reason than that they have a child caught up in this that does NOT understand what's going on.

Maybe they won't be able to. Please keep them in your prayers, especially Dakota. They all need them.

97 Days To Go...

Well, this time next week, I'll be headed home. Hard to believe. I've been looking forward to this trip for so long now, or at least it seems that way.

Got some bad news last night that could affect our future plans. Let's hope it's only a temporary setback, and not a permanent one. Regardless, we'll overcome it, it just may take a little longer than originally planned. Keep us in your prayers...

Also, please keep both myself and my m-i-l in your prayers as we travel next week, and also my youngest, as she will be flying back to FL next weekend...I can't stand to even think about that right now...

I'll be out of blogging range until the 20th, but will try to post an update then, along with pics if I have them by then. Have a great week, everyone....I know I will!

Day 100...WHOO-HOO!!!

Wow, it's hard to believe it's just a little over 3 months to the BIG day! I'm really getting excited, now. And i'm even more excited to think that I'm heading to Missouri this weekend....already! I can't wait to see my baby, I just know I'm gonna be a total wreck.

I had a great weekend visiting with my NC buddies, even if it was on the run. It was a very busy but productive weekend, in all. My oldest has a 2nd interview today, so I'm sending all the positive energy I can her way. I hope to hear good things by the time I get home!

And I also get to see my MAN Sunday! Let's not forget that...it's too important! He doesn't know it yet, but he thinks this will be the last time I get to see him before our first anniversary. He doesn't know I'm going to try to sneak back down there Sunday week to see him again...that's IF we get back from Missouri in time! (Can you believe it's already been a YEAR???) So I'm not gonna tell him until the Saturday before, probably, if I get to go. Our anniversary is on Monday this year, so we won't be able to spend the actual day together. So don't any of you tell him, because he's going to think I'm still heading back from Missouri!!! It's the only surprise he can get!!!

Well, besides a card...and a smooch or two...

Day 104...

Well, I have written my last letter to my youngest...the last one I can send her while she's at basic, anyway. Now I can't do anything but sit and wait.

On the flip side, I also made hotel reservations today...and just in time too! The hotels were all so booked up, I think I got the very last room there was! Only one more week before we leave. And yes, I did say we...my m-i-l is going with me, and I'm also very excited about that, because I don't get to see her near enough, and have never had the chance to have any one-on-one with her, so I'm really looking forward to being able to share this experience with her. I have the absolute greatest in-laws in the history of the world!

I also found out yesterday that my oldest is now gainfully employed. So that's both of them down, now. Still don't have the details, but just the fact that a paycheck is coming has got to be a relief...now if we can just get everything else on track...

I'm expecting my best buddies, Bonnie and Scott down this weekend from N.C., and I can't wait to see them. It's been over a year, and we just never seem to have enough time together! More on that Monday. In the meantime, have a great weekend, everybody!

Day 107...

I got a letter from my youngest yesterday. Actually it was a letter from the base, giving details about her graduation, which will be held on August 16th. I am SO proud of her!!!

Had a very productive weekend, spent some good time with my mom and the girls, and went south to spend Sunday with my hubby (FINALLY!). It was a good weekend all around.

Those that have been writing my youngest are requested to not send any more letters past August 4th, because she either may not get them, or they will be forwarded to her place of residence (I REFUSE to say home!). I know she'd much prefer to get them now, so please get them cards and letters rollin', sports fans!

I can't wait to head that way!!!

112 Days to go...

Well, it's thursday, another week almost gone. Only 3 more weeks before I get to finally see my baby girl, I can't wait! Still haven't gotten another letter from her since the one she wrote on the 4th, but I keep checking the mail, cause I know I'll get one any day now...

I worked all weekend, finally finished the big job I was working on, Thank God! I'm so exhausted, I can hardly type, which is why I haven't blogged much lately. I'm working every weekend, and all week, too. Can't afford to take a day off, we're almost caught up, and I still need travel money! Fortunately, I'm getting a huge blessing in that arena. Have I said lately how blessed I continue to be???

Otherwise, all is quiet. My oldest and my d-i-l are still job hunting. Keep them in your prayers that they'll be in the right place at the perfect time. They sure need it!

And the best news of all...I'm finally going to get to see my Tex this weekend! I'm going down to spend the day with him on Sunday! *yay!* It's only been 3 1/2 weeks...I can't wait! It's so hard to believe that we're coming up on our 1st anniversary already. This past year has just flown by, thanks in large part to our youngest, who has brought so much love and anticipation to our lives this year. We needed that hope like the desert needs rain, and are drinking it in the same way. Here's to the future!

Day 117...

Despite what this blog may say, it's Saturday afternoon, a BEAUtiful day, and I'm supposed to be cleaning house. I am, but I had to take a break and blog for a sec. I'm feeling very alone at the moment, very cut off from Tex, even though I spoke to him last night. It seems like the closer we get, the farther away we are from each other, and now with our youngest in the mix, it's just making it worse, because it's not just me that feels cut off...we ALL feel very cut off from each other right now. Yeah, I know, that's a good thing, right? Better than the alternative, at least. She could not care whether we were alive or dead. But, see, we planned for that...but this...we never saw this coming. What does that say about our faith? I don't know...

I just know that I'm so glad to be in the predicament I'm in, and I know I'm not the only one. But it doesn't make it any easier to endure, this separation. And the clock keeps ticking, and the miles stretch out before us longer, and longer, and longer... I haven't gotten a letter since the one she wrote on the 4th of July. I know she's busy (how's THAT for understatement?) and I know she'll write when she can, but it's the waiting that's hard. I go to the mailbox every day, hoping to hear something, and Tex is on pins and needles. I'll be so glad when November is here, and we can stop at least part of this madness!

In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep perfecting this art form of waiting, now that I've got 2 1/2 years invested already. But man, has the time flown since January this year! And we do have our baby to thank for that!

120 Days to go....

I have to say I feel SO much better since yesterday. Tex called me yesterday afternoon, and it was so good to hear his voice! I needed that so much....funny how we take things for granted, even when we are trying not to, until we don't have them or can't get them, isn't it? Anyway, maybe I won't be so grouchy today....

....maybe.

Day 121...

Man, am I crabby today! I can tell that not being able to see Tex is really wearing on me...I've been snapping at people all day, and all I really want to do is slap somebody...BAD.

I'm really, really trying not to be this way, but the stress is starting to get to me, and it's starting to come out now, where up until now I've been able to pretty much keep it hidden. It's been so long since I've spent any decent amount of time with him, and it looks as though it's going to be at least another month before I get to. And now, we've even cut out 90% of our phone calls to save money so I can go to the graduation next month.

Don't get me wrong...I know it's worth it. It's worth MUCH MORE than this! But that doesn't make it any easier to endure. And even if I can't say it to anybody, isn't that what a blog is for...to vent things you may not otherwise be able to say?

So if I bite your head off, please don't take it personally...I'm just really irritable right now, and it seems as though EVERYBODY is rubbing me the wrong way!

Day 126...

Heard from my youngest again. She sent a good juicy letter this time with lots and lots of news that she wrote on the 4th during a bit of downtime. It was SO good to hear from her! I can't wait to get to see her in August when I go out for the graduation!!!

Of course, I won't be seeing much of Tex between now and then, because that's where all my travel money will go. But we both agree that it is MUCH more important that I go to represent both of us, because it is such a milestone in her life, and will only come around once. After it's over, we can get back to our normal routine. It's just so hard not seeing him.....*heavy sigh*

Anyway, I dropped the price on my house by 2,000. Hopefully, I won't have to drop it any further than that. I'm leaving it there at least until the middle of September. If it hasn't sold by then (and it WILL) I'll take another look at it. The guy who was so torqued about it last week still hasn't seen it yet, so I'm still praying that he will go for it...please continue to keep me in your prayers. I gotta get RID of this THING!!!!

132 Days to go...

Not much has changed today, I'm just feeling a bit blue because I miss my youngest so much. I wrote her a long letter last night, but August seems so far away right now, even though I know it's not. I just can't wait to see her.

Had a bit of a scare with Dakota yesterday. They thought he might have had some sort of head trauma because his eyes were dilated funny (one small, one large)..apparently, there's a vision problem. They took him to the vision doctor this morning, but I'm still waiting to hear the results. As far as I know, they're still planning on coming down tomorrow. There's the silver lining in my little black cloud! I'm so looking forward to spending time with them while I can, before I move to TN next year. Wouldn't you know it....about the time I decide to move up there where I'll be closer to them, they decide to move back down here to be closer to everybody else! Oh, well...I'm just gonna enjoy it while it lasts.

Got a busy weekend ahead of me, involving a LOT of work, including a lot of heavy lifting. I hope my strength holds out!

That's about it for now. Anybody who reads this, please drop a line to my youngest, she sure does appreciate it, and she's very homesick right now...(and no, I don't mean FL!)

Have a great weekend, everybody! If you're traveling, stay safe!

Day 133...

WOW! Lots to update on today!

First, I got a phone call from my youngest Saturday night. All is well, she had just got the letter about my dad and wanted to call me. She apparently fell and busted her knee and sprained her ankle, so they were making her lay up for a couple of days and recouperate. Other than that, things seem to be going good for her, other than her being really sad about my dad. She took it pretty hard.

Sunday night, my niece Alaina went into the hospital, and Monday afternoon, little Brayden Mitchell Khan made his appearance. He is absolutely beautiful, and Mom and Baby are both doing incredibly well, thanks for asking...

Yesterday, I spent the day with my beloved, sharing good times and great conversation with his brother and his family. I always love it when they go down to see him because we always have such a good time together, but also, because it's like he gets a piece of home, and it lights him up inside.

I won't be going this weekend, because I'm working. I just found out today that my youngest is graduating from basic on August 3rd, so I've got a lot of work to do between now and then if I plan on going to Missouri to see her! And I'm GOING to see her. In addition to working, my oldest is moving her family down this weekend, so I'm sure I'll probably be involved with helping them to settle in. I'm very excited about that!

139 Days to go...

Well, Kiddies and Kiddettes,

It's now Friday, and yet again, I see no sign of being able to spend the weekend with my beloved. Not because I can't travel, but because there's so freakin' much going on this weekend!

Saturday, there's the seminar at church, which is to be dedicated to my dad. It's an all-day thing which I'm really excited about, since I didn't get to attend the first two, and the whole family's going...well, as many as aren't working or pregnant, anyway.

Sunday, I have a great lunch planned with my two favorite sister-in-laws, which has taken FOREVER to plan, simply because we can't ever seem to get our schedules coordinated. So I see lots of gossip and good times in our future for that afternoon. Then, Sunday night, my niece will be going into the hospital to prep for having the baby on Monday (unless she goes before then!). Also, I just got a call from my real estate agent that he's showing my house to a VERY interested buyer on Sunday, so please PRAY everybody! This house has GOT to sell, and I'm believing it WILL!!!

Here's hoping everyone has a great weekend!

Day 140...

Well, I still haven't gotten another letter from my youngest, but I guess right now she doesn't get to write except on Sundays. Oh, well... I've gotten being patient down to a science by now, but that doesn't make it any easier!

My oldest is moving back home with her family in the next couple of weeks, I'm really excited about that! Now, I'll get to spend some quality time with them...at least for the next year, until I move to TN. I thought I'd be closer, now I'll be just as far away. Well, it's better...MUCH better...for them. So many more opportunities, and more time to spend with the family. And church, which they're looking so forward to getting back into. So things are definately looking up that way!

I'm really excited about the future right now....immediate as well as long term. I just kinda wish it would all hurry up and get here, you know? But then, life is not about the destination, it's about the journey, and I have a lot to learn just by being able to accept and enjoy what's happening right now!

142 Days to go...

I finally got it!! My youngest's long-awaited address is now available, for anyone who reads this and doesn't already have it. If you want it, call me. If you should have it, you know my number!

She is doing well, just really busy, and seems to be adjusting well, although she is lonely and missing us. She can't write much, because they're not allowing a lot of free time yet, but she can get as many letters as Uncle Sam can deliver, so everybody write to her as often as you can, please!

Also, my mom is doing well, and so is Tex. I'm good, too. Still adjusting, but I guess that's to be expected.

Day 147...

Today is my parents' 33rd anniversary, and my mom is holding up pretty well, considering the circumstances. Keep her in your prayers.

I still haven't heard from my youngest since last week, and NO I still don't have a return address for those who are chomping at the bit like I am. Rest assured that the moment I do, it will be sprawled across the family grapevine faster than you can say WALLACE. I miss her terribly, and even though I know its routine, it just seems to be taking forever to get that address. And I know she could really use some encouragement right now from everyone that loves her. Keep her in your prayers, too.

And then, there's Tex. Poor man hasn't seen me in...how many weeks? I've lost track. And I miss him so much it hurts. Keep us both in your prayers. One good thing, the time left isn't near as much as the time already spent! For that, we're more grateful every day!

Day 150....

I have a SPECIAL treat for you today, boys and girls! To honor my father for Father's Day, I am posting one of my favorite poems of his. I know he wouldn't mind me sharing it with the world.

Most of you probably already know that my dad served in the 2nd Armored Division of the US Army and was under the command of General George S. Patton during WWII. He wrote this poem about a training mission they were on down in southern Louisiana around the beginning of the war. He included a couple of notes regarding the poem to help better understand it, which are as follows:

NOTE: For the purpose of discipline, those under Patton's command were required to wear a necktie, while those of other military units and the National Guard were not. Shelter halves were 1/2 of a regulation pup-tent; two were buttoned together to erect.

THE BALLAD OF GENERAL GEORGE

By Birl R. Brown, Sr. (c) 2006

T'was in the southern parishes in Louisiana's heat

That General Georgie Patton's boys learned about "compete".

Chiggers, ticks and okra fields, and skeeters big as tanks,

And a plentitude of gnats abound to aggravate the ranks,

For Louisiana's hot as hell, and only God knows why,

But I am one of Patton's boys, and I must wear my tie!

Generals George and Ed Rommel were classmates years ago,

For both attended V.M.I. to warfare better know,

But time had sharpened up the sword that cut the cord between.

It's like a guess in Russian chess, before a move's foreseen.

Louisiana's hot as hell, which none at all deny,

But I'm a Georgie Patton boy and I have to wear my tie!

Always, the tie must tuck between two buttons of the shirt,

The third and second only, please, or suffer Georgie's hurt.

The tanks develop clouds of dust and resporators clog.

The heavy tanks can lose a track, or stick in oily bog,

Where Louisiana's hot as hell, and I'm about to fry,

But I am still a Patton boy, and I always wear my tie!

There was a time the General went to check the river's brink

Where a million huntry skeeters live, but he was there to think

And plan just how the units, in a crossing there, could fight.

So concentrated was his thought, he never felt a bite,

And I was wrapped in shelter halves, and just about to cry,

But yet, since I'm a Patton boy, I still had on my tie!

On a night run into Texas, we were weary through and through.

The General reached into his brief and a little flask withdrew.

He offered it to his Driver, who didn't drink, alas! It passed

Around from each to each: he took his swallow last.

I'll remember that 'Old Taylor' when I lay me down to die,

Just close the little coffin, please, but don't forget the tie!

We didn't.

153 Days to go...

OK, today was a LOT better than yesterday. It's always the firsts that get you...first birthday, first anniversary, first Christmas, that kind of stuff. After the first year, it tends to fade. I know this from personal experience. And I know, thank GOD, that time heals all wounds.

So, on with life!

I heard from my youngest yesterday, she still can't receive mail, apparently, because I still don't have a return address, but she seems to be doing well, apart from the feeling of being alone that she can't seem to shake. I think it's being away...truly away...from everyone and everything you know for the first time. I remember feeling like that when I went to Boston a few years back, my first trip to a strange place totally by myself. I'm sure she'll work herself out of it, after all...she is her father's child!

Speaking of which, Sunday is Father's day....a first for me on three levels. First, it will be one of those firsts I was talking about earlier. Second, it will be the first year I've had my present father-in-law, so I still get to honor a father. And last, but certainly not least, it will be the first time in many, many years, my husband gets to celebrate...as a father. And celebrate, we will!!!

Day 154....Happy Birthday, Daddy!

My daddy's 87th birthday. I don't know if I can stand it. And Father's day is Sunday. I can't even go south this weekend to spend it with Tex.

Whatever. I won't apologize for my foul mood, not today. Maybe tomorrow I can. Maybe it will be better tomorrow.

Maybe.

157 Days...

Well, it's been one hell of a week. And I won't go into it here, except to remind all my potential readers that my youngest is currently in basic training, and out of the loop of all that has occurred this week. Due to the distraction factor, I'd like to keep it that way for a while for her sake, so I'll ask you all NOT to speak or write to her about it so she can keep on with her training undisturbed. When the time is right, I'll share.

I love you all, and I thank you for your loving prayers and support this week. Please continue, we need all we can get right now.

Day 170...

Well, it's Tuesday. This weekend was awesome, as I knew it would be. My youngest came in town, and I picked her up at the airport (with some help) and headed to TN. Great trip, great fun, lots of hard work, but lots of love and laughter too. If only Dad could have been there, it would have been perfect. But good things come to those who wait, and we've got the waiting thing down pat.

Thursday, I head back to SC to pick her up, and she'll spend the last couple of days with me before shipping out to basic training for the rest of the summer. I'll miss her so much...I just wish we had more time to spend together. Again with the waiting....*sigh*.

Pookie, Dad and I love you so much, and we're so glad you came this week!

Day 177...

Can I tell you how excited I am?? First, today is the last day of school. Second, there are only 4 more days to count before I get to see my youngest, and third, my house has already shown! I am so excited!!! I also talked to the realtor's office about making some changes that will be for the best, I think, to show the house off better on the internet, and I feel very good about it. Things are shaping up very well to have an incredible week next week, and this past weekend was awesome, too, with the baby shower and everything going smooth as silk. Very successful, and loads of fun. And only 2 more weeks before I get to see my hubby! What's not to get excited about??

Oh, yeah....my birthday...

Day 183....Happy Birthday, Jezzy!

Today is my beautiful Jessica's 23rd birthday!

Seems like yesterday she was born, and I miss her so much it hurts sometimes. She has been my rock, my touchstone, my joy and laughter....and my mattress-flipper when I needed her most, never allowing me to wallow in self-pity, but reminding me in no uncertain terms that I had to get back up and keep plugging away, no matter how bleak or hopeless the future looked. She is a survivor who has always been there for me, and I have learned so much from her over the years about meeting opposition head-on and triumphing over it in the end. I would never have been where I am now in my life without the benefit of having her beside me on this journey.

Jes, if you read this, know that I am terribly, incredibly proud of you and of the woman and mother you've become, and there are no words to describe my love for you. Your strength inspires me every single day, and I love you beyond all measure. God knew how much I would need you and count on you in my life, and I never cease to thank Him for the blessing he laid on my life 23 years ago today.

Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Love, Mom

185 Days Left...

Well, I just had a great weekend! Friday, I FINALLY listed my house...yes, it's OFFICIAL!

Saturday, I spent the day with my man...just wish it could have been all weekend...*sigh*

Sunday, I spent the day doing yard work. Yes, on Mother's day. Both my girls remembered to call me. I knew they would. My son didn't. I knew he wouldn't. Probably didn't even know it was Mother's day...

Oh, well. Two out of three ain't bad... I love you all, anyway. And thanks, too, to both my wonderful nieces who remembered their favorite auntie yesterday. I love you guys!!!

Only 189 Days to go!

OK, it's Thursday. Last night was a really big night for my youngest, and I'm really bummed because we didn't get to be there to see it. I wish life was different, but at the same time, I feel so blessed that we have as much as we do! I would never have dreamed even a year ago that I'd have been given as much as I have, and I know that inconveniences like this are just that...inconveniences...compared to the rest of our lives. It's just that my heart aches that events like this only come around once, and we couldn't be a part of it, except in spirit. But there in spirit we were, and that has to be enough...for now.

But there's always tomorrow.....

Remember how proud we are of all you've accomplished, and how very much we love you!

Day 192...

On one hand....I feel AWESOME! I got SO much done on my house this weekend, it's scary, although I still have quite a bit of yard work to go. At least it's looking slightly respectable now, and I may be able to stick a sign in the yard without being completely mortified at how horrible it looks from the outside! On the inside, I just have a bit of last-minute touch-up cleaning to do and I'll be DONE! Whoo-hoo!!!

On the other hand....I feel bummed because I didn't get to see my sweetie this weekend, (although I do have this coming weekend to look forward to!) and also because I made some plane reservations that didn't pan out, which means that the res has to be rebooked (more money...hello!). Worse...the visit I booked the res for wasn't going to be as long as I had hoped. The good side to this is that hopefully, we'll be able to rebook for a longer visit...so in my book, anyway, it will be worth the extra bucks. Only problem is, I can say that easily, cause it's not my money I'm spending. I think I've found flights that won't cost any more in the long run, though....I think.

Here's hoping and praying!

195 Days and Counting...

Well, it's Friday. I know, I know, I got slack this week, but it was pretty much business as usual, so nothing much new to report.

Anyway, I do have exciting news! I actually got all the touch-up painting done in my house last night, and tonight I just have to clean. I found out last night that I'm not going south until next weekend, so I have this weekend to work on my house. I'm hoping to get it all knocked out, providing the rain doesn't drown me. If it rains too hard, I won't be able to work in the yard much, but at least I'll be able to get all the inside completely done, which will be a HUGE accomplishment! Of course, my partner-in-crime can't really say much about how long it's taking me to finish my end...he's been just as slack as I have! *sigh* Maybe we'll get it together and finally get a sign in the yard next week. Here's hoping!

Also, my nephew is receiving his Bachelor's degree in Chattanooga this weekend, so congrats to him! It's been a long time coming, but it's very well deserved!

Day 199...

WHOO-HOO! We've now passed the 200-day mark, AND April will be over by the end of the day! Only 6 1/2 months to go...

This weekend was a working weekend for me, no trips south, unfortunately, which was hard on both of us, but necessary, and we both knew it. Next weekend, we'll try to make up for it. That's life right now. Anyway, I got a lot done...just not on the house! I'm honestly going to try to bite the bullet tonight and do my best to knock out the last little bit left on the inside. Then I can work on trying to make the yards presentable...probably as difficult an undertaking as the inside, if not worse! That yard is a disaster.

Pray for me....

One more thing...I got a really great phone call last night....and an even better message left on my voice mail right before! To the caller...if you read this, just wanted to let you know you made my day. Smoochies!!

202 Days to go...Happy Birthday, Tex!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband! I wish I could be with him today to tell him in person, but a phone call will have to suffice, I guess. It doesn't get better than this right now, and our birthdays can't always fall on a weekend. But he knows I would be there if I could, sharing the day with him. And he'll have great company this weekend to celebrate with! I just wish it could be me...

Ah, well, there's always next weekend...

204 Days to go...

Thought I'd share this great poem today. My dad found it a couple of months back, and it just struck a chord in me...

"February" by Margaret Atwood

Winter. Time to eat fat

and watch hockey. In the pewter mornings, the cat,

a black fur sausage with yellow

Houdini eyes, jumps up on the bed and tries

to get onto my head. It's his

way of telling whether or not I'm dead.

If I'm not, he wants to be scratched; if I am

He'll think of something. He settles

on my chest, breathing his breath

of burped-up meat and musty sofas,

purring like a washboard. Some other tomcat,

not yet a capon, has been spraying our front door,

declaring war. It's all about sex and territory,

which are what will finish us off

in the long run. Some cat owners around here

should snip a few testicles. If we wise

hominids were sensible, we'd do that too,

or eat our young, like sharks.

But it's love that does us in. Over and over

Again, He shoots, he scores! and famine

crouches in the bedsheets, ambushing the pulsing

eiderdown, and the windchill factor hits

thirty below, and the pollution pours

out of our chimneys to keep us warm.

February, month of despair,

with a skewered heart in the centre.

I think dire thoughts, and lust for French fries

with a splash of vinegar.

Cat, enough of your greedy whining

and your small pink bumhole.

Off my face! You're the life principle,

more or less, so get going

on a little optimism around here.

Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring.

Day 205...

Greetings, sports fans! It is now Tuesday, and I've just completed my payroll and am about to leave the office to go walk for an hour and then paint on my house. I am feeling SOOO much better than I did yesterday, it's not even funny. I tell ya, migraines just drain me!

Anyway, not much else going on other than that, just broke and missing my hubby.... If my kids read this, I love you guys! Call your mother sometime, wouldya???

Weekend Update

Well, we are down to 206 days, now. That's the great thing about weekends, it makes the count go quicker!

The weekend was really good, while it lasted, that is. I had to come home early on Saturday, which was good because I got a migraine on Sunday and wouldn't have been able to drive home if I had stayed, but it was also bad, because one of the reasons I came home early was to finish the inside of the house and get it ready to go on the market today...and I couldn't do it. So now I have to work on it today, and I'm behind...again, and really still not feeling 100%.

C'est la vie!

On the flip side, I got a new pic to post...thanks to navy_sis, and I also got to talk to my youngest twice this weekend, which was a really big one for her, and I was excited that she wanted to share it with me. It was very special, and I only wish I could have been there. I have been told there are pics, though, so I'm holding out for those. If I get them, I will try to post them.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend!

209 Days Left....

Well, we've made it to Friday, and you know what that means...

I'm headed to S. Ga in the morning....WHOO-HOO!

2 weeks is wayyy to long to have to wait to see my baby, but I know it can't be helped right now. I just miss him so much! And I've only been able to talk to him once on the phone this week. Logistical problems.

Have I mentioned how much I love MCI???

Anyway...if you're reading this, and have messages for me to deliver, either post 'em or call me tonight. I'll probably be leaving work early today.

Funny Quiz Result...

OMG, just goofing around doing quizzes, and I do this Hillbilly name generator, which only asks for your first name. I had to post the results, cause I thought it was just too damn funny...

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

..http://images.blogthings.com/hillbillynamegenerator/girl.gif" height="100" width="100"> Penny Sue Walker

210 Days and Counting...

Well, today I missed a birthday. Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been planning for it all week, because it's sort-of been down-played by everybody for the past 2 years. But all my plans fell through, and I got so frustrated, I just threw it all away like a kid who gets pissed, so they pick up their toys and go home. I feel like a shmuck. And I should. If the birthday person reads this, I really am sorry! You kinda got caught in the crossfire, and you shouldn't have.

Only 211 Days Left...!

I was just sitting here, thinking about what is going to be the most exciting day of the year for me this year, so I decided I would keep a running tally of days left until then to see if it will help the time go faster. If you're in the loop on this one, you'll know why I'm counting. If you're not, well....

Take a hint!

If you are WHY I am counting, then you are counting WITH me! And you will also be checking out my blog from time to time to see how many days we've got left to wait! (BTW, we're not the only ones keeping count, you know... ;-) )

There May Be Hope Yet...

Well, I guess despite it all, I have managed to create a relatively respectable-looking web page that doesn't completely mortify me and show everyone just how behind the times I actually am. Maybe I'll keep this blog stuff up after all...for a day or two, anyway!

OK, OK....You Win!

I guess the peer pressure has finally gotten to me...everybody I know has a myspace page except for me. Call it self-defense, but now I have one too...for whatever good it will do me. Don't expect much. I'll be doing good to remember I even have it, much less keep it current. Once a year....maybe. But HEY! I've got one, right??? So lay off, already!